That's me in the corner - that's me in the spotlight...

That's me in the corner

That's me in the spotlight, 

I'm Losing my religion

Trying to keep up with you

And I don't know if I can do it

Oh no, I've said too much

- Losing My Religion; R.E.M.; Out of Time

You're a good person, right?


I think I am too, or almost all of us are. In our own weird and unfathomable definition we are.


And because of your goodness, you tend to do some things for someone(s). 


You go crazy at times, overreact even. And THEN while you're in the midst of what you're doing you lose....faith.


Regardless of the PROMISE (which you have kept) - you tend to falter or dare I say it, DOUBT.


You lose your "religion".


I lose faith easily. I get discouraged easily. 


When someone talks about something bad and/or crude or JUST not the way I like it (yes, selfishness included) - especially something I BELIEVE IN - and/or part of, e.g.; boys who likes boys. Duh....


AND if I say something that I THINK would offend someone - I get crazy sad on that. And I apologize. I'm always ALWAYS sorry. I was even told (countless times) "Don't be so hard on yourself."


Yes, emo kid, I am.


I lose faith too.


Just like The Pilgrim, remember? When he was ALMOST there - he lost faith?


Or Dante - yes! - when he was on his way to cross the River Acheron with Virgil = he collapsed!


Maybe, I'm just TOO kind or TOO good, and this is POINTLESS! 


OR MAYBE today's not really the best day in all of my existence and I JUST NEED TO MOPE AND/OR RANT?!


Reasons?


1. The House almost burned to CINDER this early morning = electric post AND rain aren't bestfriends. Thus resulting into BOOM BOOM BOOM and fireworks and finally DARKNESS.


2. Articles to write - 10 per day since yesterday - 500 words on each; to the DOT!


3. Some people think I'm MODELLING, just because I'm flaunting my ass on THE WEBSITE, doesn't mean I am. (I'm doing this as rebellion - VIVA LA REVOLUTION - against those who DO NOT GET IT or a ward against STUPIDITY - along with MY HAMMER!)


4. The rain - hasn't stopped eversince last week. With murk and MUD that would surely spoil your shoes and/or slippers.


I've been in the dark and damp for quite sometime now, I need my

  ☼

I really do...




If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? - The Bard Of Avon




ON OTHER NEWS: (Lighter side of things)

HAPPY AUSSIE DAY!

On Other News: Missing boat with FIVE AMERICANS lands in Maasin City, Philippines

Missing boat with 5 Americans lands in Maasin City


MANILA, Philippines – Five Americans stepped ashore in good health Monday in the centralPhilippines following an international search for their sailboat when it failed to arrive on time in its voyage from the Pacific island of Guam, officials said.

The vessel, called the Pineapple, ran into bad weather after departing from Guam on Jan. 6 on a journey to the Philippines and relatives of the crew _ four men and a woman _ reported them missing Jan. 18.


A Philippine coast guard ship reached the 38-foot (11-meter) catamaran on Sunday after it was spotted by plane the previous day. Rescuers escorted the vessel to the port of Maasin City on Southern Leyte, where the crew refueled, got their passports stamped and treated themselves to a meal, the coast guard said.


With one of its two rudders damaged, the Pineapple will later be escorted to its original destination on Cebu Island.


“They’re all in fine health,” coast guard chief Adm. Wilfredo Tamayo said of the crew, including a Filipino-American in the U.S. Air Force. The U.S. Embassy in Manila has declined to release their identities and hometowns.


The U.S. Coast Guard, which said it had spent 63 hours searching for the sailboat, expressed relief that the boat was found but faulted the crew for failing to take proper precautions. The vessel did not carry long-distance communication or emergency distress equipment and did not file a comprehensive float plan, the agency said.


“I’m elated for the family and friends of the Pineapple, but compelled to point out that this voyage was made without taking basic, commonsense precautions,” said Capt. Thomas Sparks, U.S. Coast Guard Guam commander.


A Philippine coast guard plane spotted the sailboat Saturday off the southern island of Dinagat, but was not able to confirm its identity until Sunday when the weather cleared, Tamayo said.
A woman aboard the boat was able to contact her husband by cell phone at 1:30 p.m. Sunday _ apparently once she came within range of cell phone service _ and he called rescuers in Guam to give them the boat’s coordinates, the U.S. Coast Guard said in a statement.
“The husband confirmed the vessel ran into bad weather and suffered a rudder and radio casualty. This delayed the Pineapple’s voyage but it was never in danger of sinking,” the statement said.
Guam, a U.S. territory, is about 1,400 miles (2,290 kilometers) east of Cebu, where heavy rains and rough seas have been reported in recent weeks.


The U.S. Coast Guard had deployed a HC-130 Hercules aircraft, two Navy P-3 Orion planes, two Air Force C-12s and a patrol ship to search an area of 122,600 square nautical miles (317,530 square kilometers) for more than 63 hours, the agency said.
U.S. authorities were informed of the discovery by Philippine authorities and have been in touch with Philippine officials to provide help to the Americans, U.S. Embassy spokeswoman Rebecca Thompson said.


A video taken from a search plane showed four of the Americans on top of the white-hulled catamaran, one apparently waving, as a rubber boat with coast guard personnel approached.


Many Philippine provinces, particularly in the east, have experienced rough seas amid unusually heavy rains since late December. At least 71 people have died and 23 others remain missing from the stormy weather.


The Philippine coast guard rescued 260 of 277 people aboard nearly a dozen boats that sank, overturned or ran into trouble last week due to the inclement weather. Fifteen remain missing while two drowned, the officials said.


Want more details? Go to Blog For Noob

If only...

...I had a hammer..I would hurl it like Thor's Mjolnir. (say it with me: MULE - NEARRRR!)


Flashback: Long time ago - I was in college - and when you're young (17) you look for something where you feel like you BELONG - and then you drown yourself with wonderful things or things that you THINK is/are wonderful.


And so, I found a WEBSITE. And it was fun - seeing that (almost) everyone in it shared the same interest as you - like Anne Rice or Lestat or (oohhh) shiny fangs.


Then heated debates - arguments - discussions - or mainly TALKING would come about and everyone would have fun or IS having fun.


Yes, crazies would come and say I want to live forever - who doesn't anyway? And yes, DRAMA! What would the WEBSITE be without it's coffee? Some even got suspended UNTIL Infinity (and beyond;  yes, Buzz Lightyear) for it!


BUT, that was a long time ago - and NOW - year of the Mental Rabbit - the WEBSITE still exists.


Regardless if I wasn't able to log-in for like a year or two (long hiatus as some call it) - the WEBSITE is still there/here.


Unfortunately - the first ones to stumble upon THE WEBSITE aren't there anymore, true there are still a few (like me) who would just go there to check on the new things but it's just not the same anymore.


To quote a few friends (first ones on THE WEBSITE like me)


"Oh lord. I don't even LOOK at the forums anymore. It's all nonsensical BULLSHIT rants from over dramatic, emo teenagers begging for attention and affirmation from complete strangers around the world. *snort* I DISLIKE other peoples children."


And another quote from another friend:


"Our time was intelligently stimulated"


What you see now would be things like:


"Please _______ me and I'll return the _______ so that I can get out of the RED"


Someone rated my profile and said:


"You got (OUT OF THE RED) straight away...that sucks...LOL!"


And THEN, we conversed..and THIS someone asked me a question which REALLY made me think:


"What makes YOU think you are not one of  THEM?"


I didn't know what to say really..


But, the ONLY reason I signed up on THE WEBSITE is that I needed a HOME or a safe HAVEN where I can share with anyone (IN THE WORLD - thank you very much) something / things that I know much or don't know much about and THEN we'll TALK about it.


My WEAK answer would be:


I READ content (?) Heh.


But now, regardless if you ask EVERYONE in THE WEBSITE NOT to stick something on your profile - they'd still click on something and POST.


Then TADA! SPARKLING thing - HUGE like the State of TEXAS on your Profile - with links that would lead you to - PHOTOBUCKET and/or their Profiles.


ANOTHER friend pointed out (this one new - but hey, a rockstar) in ways of posting a video/song


"A World Without Logos" (From Hellsing)


BUT then again - to quote the opening song from the (classic) Disney Animated Film Aladdin "It's tragic but HEY, it's home!" 


I have a few people who I can relate to - there's even ONE I pour out everything to - regardless of the MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING - but still THAT ONE is there, one I put on a high pedestal.


This (RANT) is probably another shot in the dark - and I'm NOT the first one to do this and THIS isn't the first time I did this - but then again, like V for Vendetta - WORDS are powerful.


And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is my hammer.

Early Edition Massacre...

With reference to an old show on TV - one where a cat brings tomorrow's paper - I'm writing this in the early morning of Thursday - 13th day of January - year of the Mental Rabbit - 6:09.


The house is empty - a lil' dirty, quite dim and damp too, (it rained again - and they say it will rain until March) but the only sounds I hear now would be the cry of a baby - some roosters cock-a-doodle-doing - the sound of the neighbors' footsteps and them carrying empty buckets on their way to the pump to get water from it so that they can use it later for bathing, cooking/boiling rice or water - for the early morning coffee.


Peace. Five minutes of it. This is what early morning has to offer me.


I'm bothered with something - like a spinach's stuck between my teeth and/or maybe there's something's that the doctor didn't take out - that should've gone with my already non-existant-appendix - from inside of me; probably my gut or spleen or HEY, my BILE.


Yesterday, afternoon, a line from a song - cheesy, yet classic - grabbed my attention and for the first time in my almost two years of being secretary and mini-boss of the only radio station in town - I have finally PONDERED on a song's line.


"Feels like I have lost you forever, like a song in the night..."


My rough - inexperienced - mediocre - translation would be: I FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING IS FOR NAUGHT!


Yes, ladies and gentlemen - I am COMPLAINING again and STILL I am talking about THE FRIEND. Yes, the friend who shook me right down to my core and you know what the best part is? 


The friend didn't even lay a finger on me.


The FRIEND. Period.


I promised to say HELLO everyday - and as human - meager - fragile - vulnerable as I am; I am trying to keep that promise regardless if the day was harrowing and not to mention work was murder - BUT, there are just times - a few instances - that I would begin to DOUBT my intentions, and ask myself question(s) like:


- what's the point?


BUT STILL after a few minutes of pondering, I STILL say hello.


I'm a suck-up...I pretend that everything's bright and shiny when inside, I'm dark and twisty (in a sort of tolerable way) and not everything's going to be smooth and wonderful and dare I say it - FUN - all the time.


I easily get discouraged - and I am weak; I tend to go over dramatic and/or make a media circus of something which (to anyone else) is small.


Now, because of this HUGE BOTHER - which should have DIED last year - I feel like I don't have a sense of direction. 


I'm lost. 


And I am a lil' piggy slash a heartless automaton which runs on solar power and just do the NORMAL things everyday.


Wake up - take a bath - eat - go to work...lunch - sleep - go to work and then go home again, home again...jiggity-jig.


The usual down spiral of everyday boring routines - I SHOULD and WILL get out of here soon and NOT feel like a trapped great white shark anymore.


AND NOT slap on my show face and face the world - either be bright and shiny or dark twisty.


Today is Thursday - the 13th day of January - Year of the MENTAL Rabbit it's 36 minutes past the hour of 6 morning - it's quite damp and dim outside...I'd better bring my umbrella.

James Franco - I'm gay...

James Franco encounters regular rumours concerning his sexuality, despite going out with celebrity Ahna O’Reilly. The speculation is largely down to the movie options the actor has made as he has played several gay characters inside the past, such as Allen Ginsberg in ‘Howl’, activist Scott Smith in ‘Milk’ and poet Hart Crane in his new piece ‘The Broken Tower’.

Even so, Franco protests that just due to the fact he is fascinated by homosexual characters from unique eras, doesn’t mean he is only interested in men.

“Part of what I’m interested in is how these persons who had been living anti-normative lifestyles contended with opposition,” Franco told Entertainment Weekly. “Or, you know what, maybe I’m just gay.”

Franco finds it amusing that society is obsessed with people’s sexuality.

Nonetheless, he is troubled by the “black-and-white” way the subject is viewed, as he considers it to be a extra complex matter.

“It’s funny simply because the way that type of stuff is talked about on blogs is so black-and-white.” Franco said. “It’s all cut-and-dry identity politics. ‘Is he straight or is he gay?’ Or, ‘This is your third gay movie - come out already!’ And all based on, gay or straight, based on the concept that your object of affection decides your sexuality